I was minding my own business and doing my usual routine of playing chauffeur to hubby and the Hodge 5. Normally when I am out and about, I find myself running late to pick up hubby from the subway station. However, on this particular weeknight, my timing was impeccable until
I got behind an indecisive driver. You know the type that straddles two lanes. It was evident to me that he didn't know whether to turn right or left, which lane to choose, nor where he was headed. The only certainty was that no one was going to pass him until his mind was made up. I wish I could just pluck him off the road. I hated the fact that someone else's decisions were making me late and keeping me from moving forward. So me and the driver began to have a side conversation in my mind. (Ok, I was actually talking out loud and my kids were beginning to question whether it took all of that.) "Which lane do you want?" I began to rant. "Pick a lane already!"
Just as quickly as the words trickled out my mouth, the tables turned and the questions were directed towards me. The more I reflected on my questions to the driver , the more I began the process of self evaluation. Oftentimes, the majority of my focus is outward because little or no work is required of me. Basically, seeing where someone else falls short is easy peasy. But once you shine the spotlight back on self, you have to get mentally ready to get uncomfortable. Consequently, I became aware that I was about to do the tango with myself . Coming to grips with the fact I may not like the me I see, was perplexing and hard to digest. . The gloves and mask were coming off and it was time to get down and dirty. Moreover, I was vulnerable and exposing my inner turmoil. No more lying and deceiving myself. The discomfort at times was unbearable. I felt like I was under friendly fire. The truth hurts, but subsequently freedom will soon follow.
From this one driving scenario, came a plethora of questions fired right at me. Instead of which lane do you want, I began to ask these questions. How long are you going to straddle the fence? How long are you going to be double minded and lukewarm? How long are you going to do things your way? How long are you going to play it safe and stay on the sidelines? How long are you going to be disobedient, self absorbed, inconsistent, and stagnant? How long before you realize that there are people watching you and generations following after you that need you focused and disciplined?
I saw how the driver indecisiveness slowed down traffic, delayed me reaching my destination, and blocked others from getting by. How are my choices affecting those around me? How am I holding up my family, my church family, my friends, my neighbors, and my community? What do I have to show for my indecisive living and lack of preparation? When I make decisions, how often do I think about those who are following me?
I'm still digesting all the questions and I haven't answered them all.
OUR TIME HERE ON EARTH IS TOO PRECIOUS. The beauty of it all is that we have the right to choose to do what we will with the life that is given to us. Moreover, the choices we make can be either detrimental or advantageous. Don't be deceived, sooner or later someone will feel the aftershocks or tremors of your choices.
**JOHNNY DIAZ - BREATHE
**BRITT NICOLE - BE THE CHANGE